My daughter and I go to a lot of concerts and musical theater events together. She is always concerned that I won’t be able to handle all the noise, people, and lights. Believe it or not, I love going to concerts, although I never leave home without my earplugs.
One of the things I love most about music is how it brings all types of people together. I was once again struck by this phenomenon while attending a Queen + Adam Lambert concert recently. Legendary British guitar player Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor were joined by American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert on lead vocals. There’s no question that Freddie Mercury is irreplaceable, but Adam gave an amazing performance. He didn’t try to imitate Freddie, yet still paid homage to the voice of Queen.
There were obvious differences among the concert-goers, such as age and ethnic background. And there were undoubtedly not-so-easy-to-spot differences. Political persuasion, sexuality, religion, ability/disability, etc. Yet we all sang and clapped along together to the songs we know and love so well. We will never all agree on everything, and frankly oftentimes it feels like we don’t agree on hardly anything. But for a few hours, we can come together and agree about something, even if only for a little while, and being a part of that feeds my soul.
When I ordered the tickets, I wasn’t able to get two seats together, so I opted to get one seat right behind the other. Needless to say, my daughter wasn’t thrilled with this arrangement and I admit it wasn’t ideal, but it was the best I could do at the time. Fortunately, there was a nice family sitting next to me who offered to switch seats so that my daughter and I could be next to each other. I thanked them profusely and repeatedly, yet still felt that my gratitude was insufficient for what they did for us. Thanks to their generosity, we were able to enjoy the concert so much more.
At one point in the show, Brian asked each person in the audience to hold up their phones and every corner of the arena filled with light. Surrounded by the glow, he said, “We need more light in the world right now.”
As children around the country get ready to return to their classrooms, my thoughts anxiously drift to those students who need a little extra light from their peers and teachers to help them through the day. School is challenging enough as it is without having additional hardships to endure. Sending a child with special needs off to school is especially difficult, in part because there’s no way of knowing whether your child will be on the receiving end of someone else’s rush to judgment or their exercise in acceptance, and you can’t be there to help navigate any situation that might arise.
My son has been very fortunate so far to have had extremely understanding teachers and staff who have been able to see what a great kid he is in spite of his frustrations and challenges. I’m not sure how many of his peers are able to grasp that, though, and I worry as much about how they will react to him as much as how he will react to them.
Every school day around lunchtime, I think of him and wonder what he’s going through at that moment. Is he sitting by himself, or has he found a friend? Will his classmates accept him as he is, or will they decide he’s not enough like them to bother trying to get to know him? Will they invite him to join their table, or will they ignore him?
He’s allowed to eat lunch separately from everyone else if needed, in case he’s feeling anxious or just can’t handle all the activity going on in the cafeteria. If he starts feeling overwhelmed during class, he’s allowed to take a break and return when he feels ready. Little things like this have made an enormous difference in how he functions at school. It took us several years to figure these things out, and it took him quite awhile to be able to recognize when he needs help before things spiral out of control, but his situation would never have improved without the cooperation and determination of his teachers and administrators. We will never be able to show or articulate our appreciation to them sufficiently, although we do keep trying.
All this talk of light has reminded me of a quote from a sermon that Dr. Martin Luther King wrote while in jail for non-violent protest and later delivered in November, 1957.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
May we strive to fill the dark corners of the world with our light and love.
Life on the Spectrum 